Have you ever noticed how having kids is extremely humbling? With the birth of my first child I slammed right into an awareness of how very selfish I am by nature. With the birth of my second child, I discovered I really am not naturally a patient person. My third child showed me I have a tendency toward laziness (and I had better correct it or the house was going to fall to ruins). And now we have our fourth child and I learn that I have pride issues.
All lovely things to realize about yourself, don't you think? Painful and extremely humbling. But beautiful in a sense, too. Without the blessings of these children, I might have continued on with my life, ignorant of these character flaws. Instead, when you run smack into them you pretty much have to find a way to deal with life in a new way. For me, that means I first wrestle (cry/scream) a lot about the new knowledge that I
hate am unhappy about. But then I find a way to let go, give it to God and ask for His help. I think it has made me a stronger person, realizing how very weak I am.
I am no supermom. I am human. Very very human. But I love the Lord and I love my family. He has blessed me greatly and I am thankful.
2 comments:
Good grief! You ARE supermom! Not everyone could do what you are doing, running around after and teaching four young children. Many women would be completely overwhelmed. I don't think that you are inherently selfish, impatient, lazy, or prideful. I mean, you pretty much have the most demanding job in the world. I don't think anything can quite prepare you for the realization that, whoa, babies are little helpless people in need of constant attention. And then with two, it must seem overwhelming at first. Then you're juggling three feeding schedules, three bath times, three car seats, etc etc. It's no wonder if you feel drained and like you can't keep up with housework. I'm not trying to undermine the ways in which you feel that you've grown spiritually and as a person, but this post just struck me as particularly hard on yourself. You're an amazing mom! :)
You are a very good writer! And Ditto to what Stephanie said. You are an amazing mom!
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